Clear and Present Attention

 

Some years back, I was visiting my brother's family, up in Tehachapi.  My little niece and I were walking around their house, and there amongst the support beams for their balcony, we came upon one of her little wild friends, a pet horny toad, who used to come and visit with her up on the deck; he had apparently quite recently fallen to his death.  She was bereft, so very sad, sobbing with her eyes filled with tears.  We sat together and held his body in our hands and stroked his still soft skin.  

After a time, when her tears had subsided, I asked her if she would like to have a burial ceremony, to honor her little pet's life.  She nodded in agreement and we went to get the garden shovel.  Her mother, noticed us and asked what was going on.  I briefly explained and she came down to join us.  The three of us took turns solemnly digging and preparing the grave.  We gathered some lovely wildflowers from the hillside, laid them carefully in the hole and placed the toad down in there.  Gently we covered over his body as we said some prayers for his well being in a future time.  Then we found and placed some beautiful rocks, ones that she thought he would have liked, right on top.  

Years later, my sister-in-love commented to me how sacred that moment was, for all of us.  She said, "That's why children love you so much.  You give them your clear and present attention."  And it is true, we all need and crave that direct and full attention, not only from others, but also from and to ourselves.  Far too often, in this modern life, we are driven by distraction.  One thing calls us away from our present task, quickly tumbling into another.  We loose the satisfaction of a job well done.  And we barely have the opportunity to even ask about what would be best to do next or what might be most important, right now.   

Just a few short decades ago, multitasking was heralded as a time-saving and advanced human skill.  Now, we know that multi-tasking leaves us with less productivity and lower quality results.  Not being able to fully focus on either task results in a diminished combined performance.  

The same holds true, the research shows, in regards to our ability to concentrate and successfully think through and complete tasks when we are overly stimulated by common substances like sugar or caffeine.  That extra boost may make us feel like we are accomplishing more, and more quickly.  But, in actuality, the results fall short of that illusion.

Another cultural pattern that we tend to hold in high regard is being busy.  We are somehow made to feel 'less than,' if we are not rushing around doing many things, checking our messages, meeting people, tending to lots of details and little emergencies all day long.  Each accomplishment that we do, gives us a small endorphin rush and we hurry off to get another.

Even in conversation, we often are so actively looking for ways to respond, or are so eager to empathize and share our own experiences, that we jump in without letting the other person finish saying whatever it is that they were sharing.  The light of connection goes out of our eyes, as our minds shift into preparing our own thoughts to share.  Perhaps you've seen that.  I know that I have, where someone's eyes become dull as they have let their attention move away from what is being said.  I am often guilty of this particular habit, and I often fall prey to all of the other modern-day tendencies mentioned here, as well. 

But, as my sister-in-love said, there are times when I can give my full and present attention, listening carefully, slowing down, feeling a sense of completion, allowing what is most important in this moment to arise.  And this is true for all of us, with all of these habits.  We can cultivate changes and become more conscious, often just by realizing them and letting ourselves become more aware.  It's okay to 'Stop and Smell the Roses.'   We can reclaim the ability to 'Be Here Now,' as Ram Dass famously proposed.  

Two of my favorite authors, from Australia, Susan Pearson and Martina Sheehan, addressed these cultural tendencies beautifully in their book, Do Less, Be More, which they wrote in 2017.  Instead of giving a 'To do list,' they offer a 'What Not To Do List,' helping readers to avoid rushing off to accomplish more, or dividing their attention with various things.  When we rest between tasks, even if just for a moment, ideas and inspirations have a chance to enter into our thoughts.  Racing around, doing too much and jumping from one experience to another, prevents us from having the ability to let deeper parts of our brain engage and this takes it's toll.

For myself, the times when I have really felt connected to others, and connected to my reason for being in this world, are when I have taken the time to give whatever it is that I find at hand, my complete focus.  I'd rather be right there, in the moment, like that time with my little niece.  If I were to have been checking for messages in the midst of it, or trying to sweep away a few cobwebs and clean something at the same time, the sacredness of the moment would have been lost.  

Those of you who read my blog know that I often like to recall the teaching of the Buddha, who said, "Do nothing.  Time is too precious to waste."  Sometimes doing nothing or at least slowing down and being present in the moment, helps me to feel more alive, more awake and more fully aware.  And it brings me my richest rewards, a joyful and fulfilling way to be.  

I'll leave you with this, from one of my mentors, Peace Pilgrim.  
She put it this way:
"Stay in the present moment.
Do what needs to be done.
Do all of the good that you can each day.
And the future will unfold."
Sweet blessings to each and every one of you.

Hooray for Yesterday, and My Perspective Today.

 

The one thing I've missed most of all during this pandemic is visiting with my niece, her beautiful young family and my wonderful sister-in-love.  Aside from the usual precautions being observed by most of us, and being parents of two small boys, the family has been especially careful.  So, we stopped seeing each other.  

I'm not much for most social media, nor am I free of concerns over the massively increasing and now ubiquitous exposures of electromagnetic frequencies, (EMF's.)  So, for that reason and a myriad of other concerns, I don't choose to own a cell phone.  So, I don't text.  And most young people, these days, truly dislike using their phones as phones.  So, unless we make time to see each other, I'm literally completely out of touch with my niece and her family.

But yesterday, joy of joys, with the onset of spring and the drop in COVID cases, an exception to our 'No Visiting' stance opened with a window of opportunity and we all jumped through.  We didn't hug, but we spent a truly glorious day together out in their charming little backyard.  

The boys had dump-trucks and blocks and a mini, light portable swing-set, along with a delightful elevated circular plastic trough that Gram-mama had just filled with water for them to stand at, pat and splash in, with their toys.  We brought some little celery snacks and some tomato based veggie drinks, which were a big hit.  And we found that we all just delighted in the moment, each moment, all day long.  

The weather was beautiful, the company superlative, and the joy factor was spectacular.  Despite our many vague attempts to speak of ideas or ideals, the boys religiously pulled us back to the present moment of now.  

May we all be so blessed as to have such great fun with our families or friends, catching those golden moments of relaxed love and joy, whenever we can.  As the Buddha said, "Do nothing.  Time is too precious to waste."

I'll leave you with this snippet from a Mary Oliver poem that I love:

The god of dirt
came up to me many times and said
so many wise and delectable things,
I lay on the grass listening
to his dog voice,
crow voice,
frog voice;
now, he said,
and now,
 
and never once mentioned forever. 

 

Self-Care, Self-Acceptance, Self-Respect & Self-Love

Here we all are at the start of another New Year.  And, as always, there is much in the world that we can not control.  But, blessedly, what we can take hold of and be responsible for is our own happiness and peace of mind.  We've all heard that 'Peace begins within.'  And this is true, because when we increase the peace and love within our own hearts and minds, we increase the total amount of peace and love that is present the world. 

New Year's Day is often a time for all of us to begin again, to get back to basics, to check in with ourselves about what really matters.  It is a time to tend to self-care.  Too often the unsettled state of events in the world around us can unsettle us within.  So here in this first week of the New Year, let us remember how to calm ourselves.  

We can start by accepting whatever is going on.  The resistance alone can cause our bodies to tighten with stress and our minds to spin off on negative scenarios involving a lack of love, not only toward others, but also for ourselves.  

It has also been said, 'As within, so without.'  Freeing our self, in our minds, frees the world around us.  Remembering to breathe, consciously, or getting some exercise can be of great benefit because these activities open us up to the more right brained focus of the present moment and begin to let us sense our commonalities.  They help us to let go our left brain's near constant analytical tendencies and bring us closer to accepting the world and to self-acceptance. 

Our left brain's focus is a beautiful part of ourselves, but it doesn't have to dominate the scene all of the time.  We can respect it, be grateful for it and we can also give it a rest.  We can let that ever-evaluating, constantly-calculating, past and future-focused inner-critic of both our selves and the world around us take a little time off.  When we do, we gain more self-respect for the totality of who we are.  Because, we are not just our little separate selves, alone.  We are also expansive, energetic beings completely interconnected within the family of consciousness that comprises the entire universe, perfect, whole, beautiful and present, right here and right now.

These are some of the ideas and ways, which we can embrace, that help us to love ourselves more fully.  As we cultivate self-care with self-acceptance and self-respect we open the doors to greater levels of self-love.

With all of this in mind, I'll leave you with three little walking and breathing meditations, which I enjoy regularly.  They each help me to calm myself and cultivate more love for myself and for all.  They are from three of my favorite spiritual teachers.  The first is from Thich Nhat Hanh, the second from Ram Dass, and the third from Peace Pilgrim.  

I enjoy reciting these to my self, either silently or aloud while I'm moving through my day.  The imagery and the action brings me to the present moment and to a sense of oneness with everything.  They are great ways for me to care for myself and they open my heart to respect and allowance for myself and the world, while they shift my being into a state of peace and love.  I hope that they serve you as well as they have served me.  
Blessings to you all, with a Very Happy New Year!



1. )  "Breathing in, I calm my body.  Breathing out, I smile."


2.)   "May all beings be happy.
May all beings be free from suffering.
May all beings be peaceful.
May all beings be free."


3.)   "Peace, be still, and know that you are God.
Peace, be still, and know.
Peace, be still.
Peace, be.
Peace."




P.S.  For this New Year, one of the gifts of self-care, self-acceptance, self-respect and self-love that I am giving to myself is a slightly lighter schedule.  So, instead of offering my blog weekly as I have done for the last two and a half years, I will now be posting monthly.  May you also find a way to give to yourself the blessings of inner peace and calmness in this fresh New Year as well.  My love to you  all.  Enjoy.

© Josephine Laing 2017
 

How To Change

We know that if we change our thinking, we change our life.  But therein lies the rub.  How do we go about changing our thinking?  Research tells us that 95% of the thoughts that we had yesterday are the same thoughts that we will have today.  Our minds and bodies prefer the familiar patterns that we have grown accustomed to.  This holds true even in the case of difficult patterns like accepting neglect or abuse.  It generally takes something big to wake us up to change.

Most of the people, who successfully make changes in their lives, have experienced something fairly major like a bad diagnosis or the death of a friend.  These big emotional experiences open our eyes wide, so we can freshly see who we have been and who we have become.  This is when we suddenly find ourselves free to choose differently.  We see where the old thought patterns have taken us and we decide that we don't prefer that version of our reality anymore.

For me, it was three major injuries back to back, requiring two separate years spent in bed and ten consecutive years focused on healing my body.  There is a saying that I love about how God helps us to change.  It is this, "First she throws a pebble, then she throws a brick."  Some of us, myself included have required the brick in order to bring about change.  How much nicer it would be to respond to the pebble.  A much gentler course indeed. 

So, how do we initiate that more gentle 'wake-up call?'  Fortunately it is fairly simple.  One of the traits of successful change is to become more conscious, more present-moment focused, more active in the right hemisphere of our brain.  Another way that we can help ourselves to change our thinking is through knowledge and understanding.  The more we know about our new potential way of being, the more we can embrace it. 

While it is true that trauma can catapult us into these types of changes quickly, we can also bring about quick personal changes in these more gentle ways.  As we increase our knowledge and understanding we see why we'd like to change.  Keep that new information flowing; read books on the subject; notice how other people do it.  Spend more time around those who focus there, where you want to be.  Infuse your awareness with the positive emotions associated with the changes you are choosing in the present moment.  Let those emotions be big.  Bigger than the brick.  Soon this will become the new habit, and the old familiar patterns simply fall away.   

Fortunately our habit minds, our sub-conscious minds, reason logically and follow orders from our conscious mind.  This is why intention plus attention brings manifestation.  We grab the meaning behind our will to change, which is our intention and then give it our full attention by staying in the present moment with it.  We focus on it.  We watch how other people do it.  We gather new and novel approaches to solving the problems of our lives and that holds our energy to the changes that we wish to make.  

In my mother's day, people would tie a string around their finger, as a reminder for themselves. That little string would constantly get their attention and help them to remember.  In this case, we might use that little trick to help us remember how and what we want to think.

And then, just like me, injured for those many years, we need something that helps us to drop our former sense of self, our belief in who we are and who we have been.  This can happen when we go away on a new vacation or an adventure.  Another way that we can help ourselves to embrace our new changes is through meditation, especially if we do this in the early morning while we are first waking up, or at night, just before we fall sleep.  As we infuse our our bodies and minds with the emotions of the new desired state of being, then the reality of it quite naturally follows.

I'll leave you with this little affirmation that I learned during the time while I was gaining knowledge for change.  It helped me to catch myself and stay in the present moment in order to embrace the new.  I would say this to myself whenever my old thought patterns would try to assert themselves.  It is a very polite and loving affirmation.  And it is addressed to the dutiful habit mind which is still trying to hold onto the old thought patterns.  It goes like this, "Thank you for sharing.  You used to serve me well, but you no longer serve me now.  I now choose differently and reap the rewards of those new positive changes in my life,"  Then give yourself a big smile and feel how good it feels.  

Bless you on your journey of gentle change into a healthier and more joyous life.


© Josephine Laing 2016

Just Being Me and Creativity

One of the best ways to increase our creativity is to do what we did so well in childhood. I referring to devoting little moments throughout our days to "Just Being Me." It is simple and easy and brings us adults great reward.

© Josephine Laing, 2015

Step Into the Magic of Your Right Brain

We live in a left brain dominant culture.  The half of our brain that is located in the left side of our heads holds the perception of the analytical, linear, sequential and time-bound aspects of our reality.  In this part of our brain our thoughts are filled with language and numbers, worries about the past and fears of the future.  Our left brains like established routines and well-known solutions to our problems.  Whereas, the thoughts in our right brain are much wider in scope.  Our right brain thinks in terms of the whole forest rather than just the tree.  The knowledge held in our right brains is way more astute in many ways, not only socially and emotionally but also psychically, being able to see the entire context, like the whole shoreline instead of just one grain of sand.

Dropping our left brain dominance and embracing the thoughts that we hold in our right brains has great implications for our collective and global good because our right brains are so much broader in  perception.  In the right brain it is all about 'We,' rather than 'Me.'  And, when we enter into the right brain, we stop all our busy little left brain internal chatter, it just goes away, even if for only a moment and we begin to move into a consciousness that embraces more than just ourselves. We see that we are vast and a part of everything.  Our right brains also hold the consciousness of peaceful euphoria and pure love.  This is how we think while we are in the right side of our brains.

It is our right brain awareness that we are striving for and practice achieving in meditation, but this quality of awareness can also happen spontaneously whenever we are taken with the beauty of something, find love, listen to a melody or move into the present moment.  In his book, Polishing the Mirror, Ram Dass says that love is the doorway to oneness with all things, to being in harmony with the entire Universe.  He says that this is what we all long for and that once we touch this state of pure being, you can never completely forget it.  He goes on to say that 'being here now,' which is the quality of our right brain awareness, is never more than a thought away.  One of my favorite ways to access my right brain is to step outside to listen for the song of a bird,  Here we find a calm, self-assured presence from which we can access the state of oneness with everything.  It is from this inner perspective that our inner guidance arises.  As Rumi said, "Everything in the Universe is Within, Ask all from yourself."  

In her epic journey into the right side of the brain, Jill Bolte Taylor, who wrote My Stroke of Insight, found the potential for a world full of beautiful, peaceful, compassionate, loving people who knew that they could come to this space at any time.  She saw how we could all purposefully choose to step to the right side of our brains and find this beautiful peace.  This motivated her to take that long eight year journey of recovery from her stroke, so that she could share this, so that we could each see that all of us together, can embrace peace, which I personally feel is humanity's greatest desire.  

When we are in our right brains we know that 'All is Well, All of the Time.'  It is from this standpoint that we can connect with spirit.  It gives us access to our God Space or our Collective Love Consciousness.  This is how we can commune with angels and nature spirits or deceased loved ones.  It is our Higher Self, our Super conscious mind of compassion from whence we are totally interconnected with everyone and with everything through all time in the eternal moment of now.  It is this aspect of our awareness that lets us receive inspirations that bring us into harmony and joy.
When we are in our right brain consciousness, we find that we are spontaneously fulfilling all of our needs while serving The One.   This is our right brain.  And I think it is time that we all start regularly practicing the fine art of freeing ourselves to step into the magic of the right side of our brains.

© Josephine Laing, 2015

Our Hearts Know Best

Our dear friend Bob Banner of HopeDance Magazine brings so much awareness and wisdom to those of us who live on the Central Coast.  He recently showed a film called "The Power of the Heart" which left a profound impression on me.  There was so much goodness in it that if you get a chance, you really must see it.  I'll share a little of what I can recall with you here.

The HeartMath Institute has been researching the intelligence of our hearts for nearly twenty years and not long ago they conducted an interesting experiment.  In it, they showed volunteers different randomly selected photographic images that were chosen specifically to elicit strong emotional responses.  The photographs ranged from puppies and sunsets to violence and destruction.  Electrodes were placed on the bodies of the volunteers which could read the responses of their nervous systems.  Information was gathered from several areas on their bodies: the heart, the brain and the gut.

As the volunteers watched these images, a very intriguing pattern began to reveal itself.  Several seconds before an image was shown, the heart responded either positively or negatively depending on what the image would soon be.  This heart response immediately sent a message to the brain which would then send the information to the gut.  When this happened, the subject would feel the result, either relaxed or agitated.

The experiment showed that not only are our gut feelings accurate, but our heart knows the truth of our feelings first.  The brain is next in line.  And the gut brings it to conscious awareness. 

Our hearts tune us to our life.  They are faster and wiser than our heads.  They let us know if we are loved and welcomed.  Our heart knowledge pervades the Universe.  It teaches us that our soul is not in the intellect.  

The Sioux nation has a saying, "The longest journey you will make in your life is from the head to the heart."  And there is a lot to this.  Here in the west, we constantly defer to our minds.  We dwell in the past and in the future, always trying to figure things out.  But it is the heart energy, which knows the power of the present moment, that is meant to guide us.  My teacher and mentor, Jana Massey used to remind us of this.  She would say, "The heart is meant to be the true leader in our lives."

Maya Angelou said, "I believe the heart is the only thing you can trust."  Deepak Chopra said that we need to ask our hearts everything.  "Where do I want to go?"  "Who should I spend my time with?"  "What should I do with my life?"  Your heart will bring you alive.  It will guide you true by the voice that comes forth from inside of you.

© Josephine Laing, 2014


                  (The amazingly beautiful begonia in the photo was grown by Paul Carlisle)

The Illusion of Separation Dissovles In The Present Moment

Usually the present is a pretty good moment.  It's our thoughts from the past and our concerns from the future that create so much trouble in our minds.  If we stay with right now, everything is pretty fine.  For instance, how are you in this moment?  Probably pretty good.  Even in those times when things get a little tricky -- some minor emergency occurs -- we can usually jump into high gear and handle the situation with clarity and competency. 

However, there are those occasional times when we do feel really challenged in the present moment.  I'm so grateful to my parents for having taught me manners, because most of the time, those are what I fall back on. This always helps to diffuse a bad situation and keep things a little cleaner.  It's never a good idea to add fuel to anyone's fire.  We all slip up of course, myself included from time to time, but when we do we can notice it, forgive ourselves, and use our intention to do better next time.  

Sometimes our buttons really do get pushed and we start to lose it a little. Then the question becomes, how can we find and practice Big Love, that sense of oneness, in the face of those stinky moments.  We do have to love ourselves enough to stand up for ourselves.  But, if we can find our presence of mind, we can look at ourselves and the other as two actors on a stage.  We can notice the role we've each taken on: victim, authority, innocent, saboteur, whatever it might be. Then we can let a part of our self stand back and watch the dance between the two.  This lets the interaction become more like a board game -- win some, lose some -- rather than a matter of pride, position, or influence.  

Our sense of separation is an illusion.  When we realize this it leads us right back into love.  We know this is an illusion because if someone is drowning, or about to jump off a bridge, or our cat is in the house that has caught fire, we forget about our own lives and do everything we can to save them.  This is because deep in our beings we know that we and the other are one.  We don't run from danger, we charge into it to save the other.  

Guru Pathik said, "The greatest illusion of this world is the illusion of separation. Things you think are separate and different are actually the same. We are all one people, but we live as if divided." We need to stop focusing on our individuation. Our sense of separation is nothing short of a social pathology. It is the source of war. Them vs. us, superiority, and inferiority complexes all come from this illusion. Every cell is needed in the body of humanity.  

Kabir said, "Ignorance has locked the gate. The only thing that can open it is love."  When we are in the present moment we are in our right brains, the source of oneness, and this unites us with the true heart of our expansive and interconnected love for ourselves and all our journey mates here on the path of life.  

© Josephine Laing, 2014