We had the great blessing of Felice Dunas, Ph.D. speaking here in San Luis Obispo this past weekend for our Sixth Annual Central Coast Women's Symposium. Her message was clear. Our biological sexual behavior, our basic nature of Yin and Yang affects every action in our lives.
As she was speaking nearly every one of us in attendance had wonderful 'Aha moments' as we recognized behaviors that we had experienced in ourselves, in our partners, in our friends and in our co-workers. A common phrase that was uttered in response to these little epiphanies was, something like, "Oh! That explains why he did that! I get it now."
We all know the basic principle of yin and yang, but to hear it applied to our contemporary everyday lives was most enlightening. Yin's (the feminine's) job is to receive. Yang's (the masculine's) job is to give. And the energy of giving and receiving flows between the two. Yin receives from the skin inward and Yang gives from the skin outward. Each of the fields in the symbol contains a dot of the others color, meaning that we all have a little of the other's energy within us, rather like C. J. Jung's animus containing anima and visa versa.
In its most essential dynamic, the masculine gives as the sperm moves out from the man's body. The woman takes it into hers, she receives. The skin of the egg opens and draws the sperm within. This is the cycle of our biological creation and its basic pattern influences all aspects of our lives.
As the man speaks his words of love to her in just the right way, her face lights up and starts to glow. The energy of yin is awakened and flows from her skin inward, from her head to her pelvis. Soon after her thighs open and she receives his energy. As his gift is received, she creates new life from within and becomes pregnant. Her words informing him of this event, inspire him into action. The energy rises from his pelvis to his head and he gets ideas and plans for how he will care for his family. His Yang energy rises from his skin up and out into the world as he creates new life from without.
According to Dr. Dunas, the circle of energy between them flows from her head down into her body to her pelvis. From there it travels into his pelvis and rises up to his head. Then it cycles into her head where it proceeds down her body again. And round and round we go. This then is the cycle of energy in normal human relations from the Chinese Medicine point of view.
Now, Felice explained that if his words can no longer inspire her to create within or her words can no longer inspire him to create without, then the relationship may falter. She gave us an example. One of her clients was in the kitchen making cookies and paying the bills with her five kids and three neighbor children all busily playing and squabbling around her. Her husband come home from work, took one look at her and felt his desire for her rise. He shared his feelings with her and she felt unable to receive and said something like, "Are you crazy, can't you see how busy I am here?" That response blocked the flow of energy between her husband and herself.
Dr. Dunas went on to explain that had the woman, in this instance, been able to receive by saying something like, "That sounds wonderful, why don't you take over here (with action out in the world,) tending to the kitchen, bills and kids, while I go upstairs, take a bath, slip into bed and get ready to receive you. Meanwhile, you can wrap things up with the cookies and the kids." Sounds like a good plan, doesn't it? He has the outward energy to push through it all while she primes herself to pull some of that energy in.
Felice explained that we women too often tend to give and give and give, like this woman had been doing and instead we need to embrace our femininity, our yin, and allow ourselves to receive. It is our basic human nature. And when we can't receive and we give too much, the wound we women experience is the feeling of abandonment. And if the man is not permitted to give, his wound is rejection.
Dr. Dunas has taken these ancient principles for understanding our human behaviors beyond the sphere of marital relationships into the bigger picture of the corporate world where she helps various organizations and human resources departments with understanding how to keep the flow of energy moving between businesses and the people who manage and run them.
As we settle into an understanding of the basic principles of the flow of energy in our lives, things become easier for all of us and we learn how to give and receive with greater grace and ease, and in accordance with our own true nature.
© Josephine Laing, 2016
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