Our true purpose in life is not a chore, it is our greatest joy. It can also be the one thing that we hold dearest in our hearts and it might just be our greatest challenge as well. If we don't do it, our lives feel lost. If we do, it brings to us our heart's desire. Joseph Campbell said we must, "Follow our bliss." And Peace Pilgrim said that we must each, "Find our calling."
Peace further advised that if we don't already know our calling, we can seek it in reflective silence. She said we need to, "Do all of the good things that you are motivated to do, even if they are only little good things, and to give these first priority in our day over all of the ordinary and mundane things that customarily clutter our human lives." And it's true, so often we give all of our good energy of the day to the things that matter very little in the long run, saving what little is left at the end of the day, for our inspirations, when we are dog tired and ready for bed.
Bronnie Ware, an Australian Nurse who worked in palliative care with the dying found that among her patients the number one death bed regret was, "I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, rather than the life that others expected of me." Our loved ones care for us; they love us; they want to keep us around and keep us safe. Though well intentioned, they don't want us to take risks and they speak up if we do. Ram Dass tells a funny story about his parents. He said they made it very clear to him that he should: achieve, be responsible, be successful, bring pride to them, stay healthy, and if he accomplished all of that, then he should be happy as well. But this is not a recipe for an authentic life. This is a recipe for a life lived according to the plans of others.
Howard Thurman said, “Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” And when we ask, we engage the great spiritual law of asking and receiving. This will then guide us into our truest life well lived.
Following our heart's desire is like a love letter of gratitude to the Universe for our lives. I've heard it said that the foundation of our spirituality is to be appreciative of the gift of life. To have fun. To play. To laugh. To see our lives as a piece of God." So, I like to say, "Stay in your joy!" It is the surest compass there is for a life well lived.
© Josephine Laing, 2015
As my friend Maggie was passing away we all took turns sitting vigil by her bedside. It took her about three or four days to die. As the time drew nearer she experienced increased lapses of consciousness. I tended to take the night shifts. I'd get off work, go home, change clothes, have a meal, and then head on over to her house. I relieved the evening friend somewhere around 10:00 and sat with her until 2:00. That's when her neighbor and long term friend Harold would take over.
On the night she actually died, the most profound thing happened. As I came to be with her and sat by her side, she greeted me with such warm love in her eyes and patted my hand, and said, "Thank you darling so much for coming to be with me." Then, tiring easily, she slipped away into a little time of sleep.
A moment or two later she rose up with a start, reaching her arms out in front of her and called out, "Arthur! Grandmama! It's so wonderful to see you." Her husband had died before her, and so of course, had her grandmother. But there they were, in the room with us, and she was reaching out to them. Then she'd lapse with exhaustion and sink back down on the mattress and drift to sleep again. A minute later she would wake up, pat my hand and say, "Oh darling, I'm so glad you're here. Thank you so much for coming to be with me."
Like seaweed on an underwater rock, she flowed from one state of reality back into the other, again and again as the hours went by, deep into the night. Then Harold took over and an hour or two later, she died. I felt like I had been to a going away party and a welcome home party all in the same night. It was a wonderful experience and I'll never forget it.
A few years back our friend Ralph passed away. On his last day, surrounded by his loved ones, Ralph pointed with his finger to our friend Dave, and then to our friend Mark, and then to his darling wife Aleta. Then looking each of them in the eyes by turn, he pointed between them, and beyond them, and around them, to all the others who were there, not in body but in spirit. They were there to greet him as he made ready to join them going home.
We are not alone. The world of spirit is rich and all around us all the time. And as we get close to making our own transition, the barriers break down and the wall between life and death becomes very thin. I consider these two incidents to be very valuable in my life. When times get tough, when I'm in a low spot, I try to remember these lessons. This lets me realize that help is all around and love is everywhere all the time. May we all move with gratitude as we round the bend into the fullness of this season.
© Josephine Laing, 2014
